
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius...

Troops that are deploying overseas, often into harm's way, already have enough to be concerned about: their imminent safety and that of their brothers and sisters in arms; their families and friends back home; their financial commitments, and gosh-darned everything else. This news from Ft. Hood says it all. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_fort_hood_shooting .

I was told that this was a difficult task, or at least a pain to do, so I wanted to push out a theory. The pieces themselves work individually... so your job is to stitch them all together. I did it - now it's your turn. All I can give you is the theory and parts list. ; ). This example highlights the account expiry process. The password expiry is a little more challenging. I have done that already as well - if folks start asking for it, I'll put the theory and parts list for that out there too.
You've been tasked with setting up some system to warn users and/or administrators of certain user's account expiration dates.
This story was just so funny I had to repeat / relay it. Someone forwarded it to me on Facebook. It does not necessarily represent my views (yeah, right LOL).
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, but her father was a staunch Republican. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to high taxes and welfare programs.
He stopped her and asked her, "How are you doing in school?"
She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA, but it was really tough. She had to study all the time and never had time to go out and party. She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because she was spending all her time studying. On top of that, the part-time job her father insisted she keep left absolutely no time for anything else.
He asked, "How is your friend Mary?"
She replied that Mary was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied, but was very popular on campus, didn't have a job, and went to all the parties. She was always complaining about not having any money, but didn't want to work. Why, she often didn't show up for classes because she was hung over.
Dad then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's office and request that 1.0 be taken off her 4.0 and given it to her friend who only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a respectable 3.0 GPA. Then, she could also give her friend half the money she'd earned from her job so that her friend would no longer be broke.
The daughter angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair. I worked really hard for my grades and money, and Mary just loafs. Why should her laziness and irresponsibility be rewarded with half of what I've worked for?"
The father slowly smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party!"

Here is an interesting article...
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5j1zjbFFqFjOHQEsuP1qKEU4U8rsQ
How can someone do malicious things to the Internet, and impact so many people? I'll tell you how - we are so dependent on the Internet, that it's easy to become a victim.
How can you lessen the impact of a warzone? Reduce the dimensions of the warzone.

There are some very funny satire articles at this site. I personally like these from Honcho McLopez.
I know this is a somewhat late posting, but I need to put it here for your viewing. On June 7, 2009, we went to the Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor. It is one of the attractions there at the Magic Kingdom theme park. There's a nice write-up about it at Wikipedia.
Text Us Your Jokes
JUST BEFORE you enter this same show, they offer the chance for the guests to text-in a joke. The intent is that if your joke is chosen, then the joke will be used in the show. So my son comes up with a joke, and texts it in with the proper keyword, to Mike Wazowski, who is the small green main character monster on Monsters, Inc. - presently serving as the "Monster of Ceremonies". Mike texts back and says "Hey - I haven't heard that one before! Thanks for your joke!". So, sure enough, there is a stand-up comedy routine in which Marty Wazowski, a smaller, orange version of Mike (Mike's nephew) tells some jokes, and he chooses my son's joke! The joke was "Why did the little boy cross the playground? To get to the other *slide*... ".
Now that might seem like a pretty lucky incident, but consider this... there's more.
I was THAT GUY
The show will always focus its attention on a single guest, known as "that guy," throughout the performance. I was that guy! "That guy" is usually the butt of some joke, such as - a monster might say, "I know how I'm going to dress up for Halloween ... I'm going as 'that guy'." - at which point the spotlight goes to the guest, and the camera and projector throw their image real-time up in front of the audience on the big screen. At the end of the show, you get an "I Was 'That Guy'" sticker at the end of the show. You can see a picture of the sticker here. I stuck it to a piece of paper, and scanned it for posterity's sake. Now considered separately, these two incidents are not really that big a deal. But when both, from the same visiting family, and during the same presentation of the show - well, that was indeed our 15 minutes of fame.